a weekend well spent

while i didn't know too many people in the austin area before moving, there was a small collective, and community wise, it was definitely the place to move to when making the decision that it was time to leave boston (though a beach bungalow in san diego has always sounded heavenly).

this weekend, i got to spent 24hrs with 2 little kiddos, in the familiar role of babysitter extraordinaire. i book-ended that with watching breaking bad (going strong, halfway through season 2!), google hanging out with siblings (i think we could get away with charging people for joining a zenchenko google hangout for the entertainment quotient alone), some napping, and some reading, as well as visiting a new church b/c i didn't get home from babysitting until sunday afternoon.

anywho, kiddos. ridiculously cute and well-behaved. i've known the dude since he was 3 mos old (so we celebrated our 4yr anniversary of my first time babysitting for him this summer), and even though the family moved down here about 2 years ago, it was great to have stayed in touch and visited them a few times in my travels down. i'm pretty good with hot wheels and making crashing noises, but i fear my imagination won't keep up much longer.

baby girl was born right before my first ever visit to tx, so until i'd moved, i've only seen her a few times, half of which she wouldn't remember. you wouldn't know it by the amount of hugs and kisses she obliged to all weekend. every time i was out of her line of sight, i'd get a "lizzie?" in a tiny toddler voice. i don't even know why she started calling me that or how she knew that that's a reasonable nickname, but it's the cutest thing. it's so awesome to already be a "lizzie" down here, when many a kiddos in boston loved to call me that. i'd respond with a "yes?" and turn to catch her eyes and then she'd just give me a grin and carry on with whatever she was doing, until the next "lizzie" was necessary.

we did lots of playing and reading and "just a few more bites" at mealtimes. at some point on saturday afternoon, we're all on the rug reading and dude tells me, "i gotta go poop", and i'm all, "ok, let me know if you need help", and he indicated (details withheld) that he was capable of an un-supervised trip. 10 seconds later, he calls out from down the hall, "you can come in here if you want, it's not very stinky". his logic was reasonable, and who wants to be left out of play time and attention when bodily functions call, but i tossed back a "no, i'm ok out here". i love the innocence that kids possess and assume the world operates under. it's a gift to be able to uphold that for them while walking them through their childhood into the less pleasant themes, big and small, that come with growing up.

at church last night, the topic was a heavy one, and as i reflected on the thoughts it prompted, i was thankful that even though i may not have a very good sense of what my current set of dreams+goals are and what i should be pursuing professionally, i have been able to accomplish, already, something that's always been dear to my heart. i can remember "make a positive impact in one child's life" originating somewhere in 8th grade (little did i know how many kids i would get so close to for years to come). having the privilege of being trusted with so many kids over the years, and receiving their concerned "uh oh, i think i just broke something" look or owwie-induced tears with affirmation of safety and love and care, and not the anger and disappointment that i was familiar with, has already allowed me to be a positive impact/contribution to at least one kid's life.

it may seem weird that i babysit "so much" (one time, a guy from one of my small groups said that's probably why i wasn't married, but that's for another story/topic), but in sitting back and appreciating that i get to do this, i've become more cognizant of the fact that as much as it allows my parent friends to go out and the kids to be tucked in fed and bathed by someone who cares about them, these little moments, and these precious kiddos, are also mending and healing my fractures from another time, and making me whole in my brokenness. and for that, i am so, so, so thankful.